Happy Valentines Day!

I was married for 46 years when my husband died. He still asked, "Do you love me?" Of course, I said yes. But after 46 years together was the love the same?

Marriage and relationships change and so does love. Does any 20 something really know what love is and what that "love" they are feeling on their wedding day will feel like down the road? How will you feel toward your spouse after one child, 2 or even three or more? How will you feel when that nest is empty? None of us know the answer.

All marriages have their ups and downs. If you tell me you never had a fight with your spouse I will tell you you've missed out on make-up sex. Just kidding... A marriage without a fight is like...well a toilet that never had to be plunged. Too good to be true. Peaks and valleys in a relationship are part of everyday life.

I loved my husband because:

• When I was sick, he brought me meals in bed.
• When I was crying, he didn’t ask why.
• When I was a bitch, he took it in stride.
• When my mother died he wanted to hear all the details of her last hours and he remembered what I told him.
• When our children had croup he joined me in the steam filled bathroom.
• He didn’t go into my closet.
• When I worked too many hours he complained.
• When I spent too much money, he cautioned me.
• When I baked and it failed, he never laughed.
• He never commented when I repainted a room a different color.
• He drove.

After 46 years of marriage, 6 months of living together before that, 3 children (one with special needs), 4 grand children, numerous pets, living in 4 different states and over 5 different homes I loved him because he still loved me.

-- Franne